First Job Interview Ever – صبر

Buongiorno and bismillah,

I had my first job interview ever.
Let’s start by saying that I really didn’t think this day would happen anytime soon. On the same day that I was so mad and depressed about how my job research was going, and I decided to give up, I got an email from this company saying that they will have a group casting on Ferbruary 23rd. You can’t even imagine how happy and excited I was!

But I want to share how I got to this point *insert flashaback scene here*: aroud a year ago I started looking for a part time job that I could manage while still studying in University, since that is my priority. I wanted a job and still want it for the same reason, I study Political Science but with an International cut and I really want to put myself out there in the world and not live my whole life here. My goal is to experience the International as much as I can, Inshallah. In the beginning I walked around my area with a big smile and my backpack full of fresh printed CVs ready to present myself and drop my papers in the diffrent places. I went to every shop, every office, and everywhere you could think of in my city. Then I got online to expand my research, but after three months the situation wasn’t flowing, and I got busy with exams.Summer came, I moved home a couple of times and big changes were happening in my life at that moment.

Approximatly in October 2016 I got really serious about it. I have this strict mental plan in my head of how I organize myself to reach my goals and I was late on the program so I needed to HURRY UP AND GET A JOB! I worked on my CV till it was perfect (I have like 12 drafts of it on my computer, seriously). I asked my friends and family for advice and told them I was looking for a job. I made myself a weekly schedule where I dedicated a couple of days a week just for researching online, sending emails and studying the “7 STEPS TO GET A JOB” articles. I found these employement agencies that help you by entering your information in their database so that the employers can find you easily, if they need you. On their websites you can also apply for the offers that get published every now and then. Once you applied for one of the job offers you will be contacted by someone in charge of interviewing you in their office.

Right now I am subscribed with three or four of these agencies, since months. If I sit down and counted how many of their job offers I’ve applied to it would take hours because everyday I would spend at least 30 minutes on their websites. But the point is: IS THIS HOW I GOT MY JOB INTERVIEW?? NO.

I’ve never been contacted by any of them and when I try to contact them it’s always useless.
I spent other three months doing this and around my winter finals I had a break down. I didn’t understand what I was doing wrong, all of my friends have some kind of job or at least have been contacted for a job, and I was there in a limbo sending emails that no one reads and applying to offers that no one considers. Not having any feedback coming to me I started analysing the situation: what do the people around me that have a job have in common? and do I have those things? all I could think of is that they are white and they got the job by someone that they know (I didn’t take in account my parents because they have their own business). Italy is a beautiful country but racism still excists everywhere, this is not today’s topic so I’m not gonna talk about it much, but let me just say that there is some kind of “non dangerous ignorance” over here. I didn’t really struggle with any kind of racism towards me personally until I started wearing the Hijab (muslim headscarf). Second, and most important aspect is having a nice network of acquaintance to spread the word and help you get a job. Being the reserved and all up in my own business kind of person that was a problem too.

This situation really got to me, I felt like I would never be able to get a job here. I felt like people would just read my name on the CV and throw it away. I felt like I would never be able to accomplish my dreams. I know I sound really dramatic and for sure I’m not the first person going through this, but feeling like all the time and effort that you are spending on something it’s not giving you any…  anything back is very hard. My family economic situation is not bad, but I’m not the kind of person that wants to realise her dreams by spending her parents money. Personally I find that wrong and egoistic. I’m a great believer that you need to build yourself with your own hands.

As my last resource a few weeks ago I went to a public employment office where you sit and talk with an expert that gets to know you a little and tells you if there is something available for you, not only but the most important part is that they give you advices and tell you what you are doing wrong. So briefly what heppend was that she told me that my CV was perfect and that the only advice she could give me was to “walk around my area with a big smile and my backpack full of fresh printed CVs ready to present myself and hand my papers in every shop, office and everywhere I could think of”.

Can you just imagine what it felt like? She was telling me to start from zero. But I still didn’t give up, I was mad and sad and hopeless but I decided to do it and it will be my last chance and if it doesn’t work I will look up for some voluntiering program. Last week I did as she told me. After being in a couple of coffe shops where the baristas literally took my CV and before I even step out of the door they already threw it, I decided to give up. There is no need to say that of course seeing that ruined my day, but it made me feel like so uncomfortable and like I was doing something bad.

That was last tuesday. I got back home, and that same night while checking my emails I find this email from a company saying that they got my email and checked my CV and if I’m intrested they will be having group interviews on thursday. I was so happy I almost cried. Do you remeber whwn at the very beginning of this long ass post I said :”I asked my friends and family for advice and told them I was looking for a job”. At that moment one of my friends told me about this company that she works with but in another city, and she told me to keep an eye on them cos they usually need new people every few month. This is one of those companies that I have sent a bunch of emails to, to the point I was annoying them lol.

So what’s the moral of the story?صبر

Those weird, fascinating lines up there are an arabic word “Sabr”: Patience. Nowadays our lifes are so frenetic and busy and even when we have nothing to do we let the anxiety and the stress overwhelm our minds. I know that it’s a really hard and deep concept to be able to wrap your mind around it, I still didn’t reach it yet. But really all we need to do is to take a deep breath and have patience, have trust that things will sort themself out. I’m not saying to let your life to whatever destiny. What I’m saying is that once you have done everything possible that you can do then just take a deep breath and wait for the results to come out. This metaphor might be a bit too hipsterish but imagine that you want flowers on your balcony: you buy the vase, you get the dirt, you put the seeds in the dirt, you water the seeds… but still the flowers didn’t come out; so you move the vase on the other side of the balcony so the su could reach it better. The morning after still no flowers in the vase yet. You did everyhing you needed to do to make the flowers bloom now just take a deep breath, keep watering the seeds and wait for the results.

ان الله مع الصابرين

A.M.

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